The State of Affairs Rethinking Infidelity 1st edition by Esther Perel – Ebook PDF Instant Download/Delivery: 0062322609, 9780062322609
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ISBN 10: 0062322609
ISBN 13: 9780062322609
Author: Esther Perel
“A fresh look at infidelity, broadening the focus from the havoc it wreaks within a committed relationship to consider also why people do it, what it means to them, and why breaking up is the expected response to duplicity — but not necessarily the wisest one.” — LA Review of Books From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it. An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations. Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”
The State of Affairs Rethinking Infidelity 1st Table of contents:
Introduction
Part I: Setting the Stage
Chapter 1: A New Conversation About Marriage and Infidelity
Chapter 2: Defining Infidelity
Chapter 3: Affairs Are Not What They Used to Be
Part II: The Fallout
Chapter 4: Why Betrayal Hurts So Much
Chapter 5: Little Shop of Horrors
Chapter 6: Jealousy
Chapter 7: Self-Blame or Vengeance
Chapter 8: To Tell or Not to Tell?
Part III: Meanings and Motives
Chapter 9: Even Happy People Cheat
Chapter 10: An Antidote to Deadness
Chapter 11: Is Sex Ever Just Sex?
Chapter 12: The Mother of All Betrayals?
Chapter 13: The Lover’s Dilemma
Part IV: Ever After
Chapter 14: Monogamy and Its Discontents
Chapter 15: After the Storm
Acknowledgments
Notes
Index
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Tags: Esther Perel, The State, Affairs Rethinking